A motivating, inspiring, and educated advice column. "One word says 1000 more." Publishing, wisdom filled posts, with available advice. Also answering your questions by email--with your problems, and how to address them, offering an anonymous point of view, and helping as I am able. (small) and I will publish my column anonymously or respond privately by email based on your preference...
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Chaos
How Chaotic is your life? Is your life peaceful most of the time, part of the time, or none of the time??
I looked in my Webster, and found the following definition of Chaos: "Complete Confusion and disorder. A state in which behavior and events are not controlled by anything". the second definition? "the state of the universe before there was any Order and before, stars and planets were formed". Wow!
Chaos can be reduced, and even eliminated in our life by following some simple steps.
I write "Daily Wisdom Words" , from my heart, and tie it with factual information from time to time. No, I am not an "award winning PhD" in psychology" but I feel I can give advice based on my mistakes and I have made many, living in mistaken priorities, and surrounding myself with the wrong people, with lots of lies to myself about how I was living.
My life was FULL of chaos and drama years ago, and now, I keep it to a minimum to reduce stress. One thing I realize, looking back at my past, ten years ago, and the chaotic, drama filled life I led, was partly due to my choices. Although I was not consciously aware of it, at times I chose the drama and chaos!! In fact, a part of me, had become addicted to it. It kept life exciting, and did I ever ride the roller coaster. I had many breakups, arguments, party nights, and adventure, but one day, after another crazy event, I "woke up"!
How had I gotten so far off the track of what was truly important to my soul and heart? Why, when I was completely honest with myself, did a part of me, "enjoy Chaos"?
The life I choose to lead now is fairly peaceful. I don't have a lot of drama going on, and I find my biggest pleasures are spending time with people I love, IE., my family, my love, my mother and children and a few close friends, reading, television, (I admit), visiting my beloved niece in Chicago to spend time with her and the four beauties she has, and my time, COUNTS FOR SOMETHING! My time, holds sincere meaning and I live in truth. Not many exciting moments, but its the little things that now count. The best times I now have are with the people I love, or solitude and writing this, hoping what I write about reaches someone and helps them in some way.
If your life is chaotic, perhaps it is time to do some serious soul searching. Maybe you don't feel addicted to Chaos, and truly hate it! if this is the case, or my story rings a bell, I suggest you sit quietly by yourself, for one day. No television, books, sound, music, or any other distraction. Sit by yourself in "soul solitude". You can't believe what you will learn about yourself, by defining who you are, and what your heart wants, and who is important in your life if you ask yourself what it is in a perfect world, you see for your journey in this world.
I then suggest you begin writing in a journal what your "life goal is for your heart, your career, your loved ones, and who you should be spending time with." Chaos attracts the same, so you will find if your life is chaotic and filled with drama, your friends or who your associating with, have lives filled with chaos too.
If you hate it, and want to eliminate it as much as your able, try developing HABITS, ROUTINES, PLANS, and have a system in place for at least 10 minutes in your day to sit alone in peace and quiet and truth and pray as I do, and write your thoughts down on paper.
When you feel anxiety as I often do, I find if I figure out a game plan for whatever it is I am stressing about, and plan my time wisely with a schedule in place and a time line of what to complete and when, writing it down or entering it in my I-phone, I feel better.
Talk to someone else, you trust or a professional, and don't be afraid to ask for help to reduce your chaos if it can't be helped.
Chaos is a part of all of our lives. We, however, can plan our time better, to reduce it, and we, can decide how big of a role it plays in our lives, by taking control of things we are able to. Spending those 10-20 minutes per day, in quiet, allowing ourselves time to "truly think", and pray or meditate, is crucial to maintain the positive attitude, that controls how we perceive, our chaos, and manage it. Eliminating chaos, better time management, planning ahead, and putting systems in place with regular habits can only be another "tool for our toolbox in life". SL
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