Morals

DAILY WISDOM WORD for 2/12/14    MORALS          by Samantha LeBoeuf

I was thinking of a word for today that held great meaning for my daughter and as it is her birthday, and I thought of her wonderful  Morals and values.  Why are morals so important?

We all live by a code of honor, whether we know it or not.  There is a voice inside us, when we are
begin to cross the line, and begin violating our Morals and values.  Integrity begins to come into the picture as well.

Before going any further, I would like to remind us all that judging others, for their morals and values,
is not our place.  We all have our own mental calibration of just what is appropriate for us.  We do need to remember, the last two words of what I wrote:  For us.  What may be right for me, may not be right for you, and what I believe, may be different.  One thing that might help us not to judge others is to remember our Similarities instead of our differences.

What are your Morals?  Do you know exactly what they are for you?  I am always examining my inner self striving to be a better person, and have found my mind and heart and soul has a whole book of MORALS, written out just for me.

There are many things that can affect our morals, such as being altered with alcohol for instance.  I would like to share not only what morals are to me, (again they are unique to each individual), but how very important it is, not to compromise your unique morals for your self-esteem or for others.  There is a reason we have them, and dishonoring what your particular morals are, can lead to a whole mess of mistakes you may avoid, by realizing just how important your morals are.  I will share with you what happened to me once
when I didn't live by my moral code.

I loved to party, and in college did my fair share.  It was easy then, because everyone got drunk and high from time to time, and I could justify any actions which crossed over my moral code just by looking at others.  The last thing I thought about was a moral code, or what mine was!

However, when I turned 35, my whole world changed.  I went through a divorce and woke up the following morning after a night of many compromises of my morals, not remembering going to one party, must less another.  Not being able to remember the evening, and having to call a friend to fill me in,   really "woke me up".  I felt guilt, shame humiliation, you name it! Because I could only remember parts of the evening,  I realized this was a huge warning, and knew it was just a matter of time before I got into real trouble.

 As the day wore on, I then remembered, sleeping in the back seat of a friends car, sometime during the evening, because I was so inebriated, and dizzy.

  I finally realized after many lessons, and waking up with the dreaded feeling of regret the next morning, so many times,  I had compromised my morals, and I needed help.  I went to AA, and don't drink to this day.  I now realize, that MORALS are the fabric of who I am!  Compromising them, is compromising myself!
Every single time I ever compromise my morals, I experience guilt and regret.

Why did I share my story with you as "humiliating" as it is?  It is my hope someone with read this, and ask themselves what their morals are inside their heart.  They will ask themselves the who/what/when/why questions and take those answers to heart.  Compromising your morals, doesn't allow you to wake up
each morning, and look in the mirror and LIKE what you see reflecting back at you.  Honoring your morals, Does.  Do you know what your particular morals are?

Looking back, had I asked myself these questions and asked God to guide me to them through prayer, a lot of mistakes could have been avoided in my life.   I may have stopped drinking much sooner.  I know I had to ask myself, when I woke up that morning, why I was compromising myself, my life, and even endangering others lives in the process. After much soul searching,  I found the following to be true:

I was compromising my morals because of  who I was associating with, what I was associating with, and when I did this, what was I thinking before doing it, or was I thinking at all?  Something was hurting me inside to want to escape mentally, to begin with.  I also had to ask myself,  Why I was doing this.  My answers came from the who/what/where/why questions.

Today, ask yourself: Just exactly, what are your morals?  Are you honoring them or compromising them?
Are you living in integrity and dignity, with others, and most importantly, YOU?  If your feeling your compromising your values and morals Ask yourself, the who/what/where/why questions.  These questions will help you analyze what your moral code is and eventually lead you to why you are compromising those morals to begin with.

I believe with all my heart, each day is a new one, and if we want to make a change within ourselves, we can, but we must get to the bottom of WHY/WHAT we need to change so we can feel good about who we are and Where we are in life.

My daughter is a wonderful example of living by a code of honor and her own personal code of morals.
She, just turning 23, is personally aware of her morals, and because of this, she can and does honor them.
She leads by example, and actions and decisions, well thought out.  My daughter inspires me to evaluate my own morals, and realize we are not perfect.  We all will at some point, compromise our morals, but if your not even aware of what those morals are for you, how can you ever walk towards improvement?

I believe we can live by our morals, and if we aren't, it is never too late to change.  Remember life is a work in progress, not perfection.  Last, please don't judge yourself harshly when you find you've compromised your morals.  The compromise you made, is not nearly as important, as the realization you made one.
 SL