Thursday, June 20, 2013

Choice

                                             CHOICE

Everyone, has a purpose in life.  As long as we are here, and living, we serve a purpose, of some kind, or we wouldn't be here.  Nothing, I mean absolutely NOTHING, happens in this world, unless it is supposed to.

Life is short, and time, passes quickly.  There is absolutely a purpose, even when whatever is happening to you, is not happy or positive, that is served by everything.  God does have a master plan.

God is the "architect"" of a set of blue prints he drew up long ago.  I believe he has an individual plan for all of us, and I will share a little history about me, that hopefully will give you insight on my opinion.

I recently, was in a relationship.  This relationship had many different aspects of it, and lasted just over 3 years.  I felt throughout the relationship, (I so badly wanted it to work), that everything I did, to try to make it work,was like climbing a very steep mountain uphill every single day.  

Every time I prayed for Gods help with this relationship, NOT ONCE, were my prayers answered.  I would pray like this:  "in Jesus name I pray, God, please help us.  Please, help me be strong, and help me do whatever it takes, to make this relationship work.  I love him so much, God, and I just want him to love me back enough to be together forever."

Why did I pray this way about this man?  Because I WANTED OUR LOVE, as he said he loved me more than he had any other woman, and if he got married, ever, it would be to me".

I believed his words.  His actions were telling a different story, all the time.  As the relationship progressed, I continued to choose to invest my heart and soul into it.  "I CHOSE".  All throughout the relationship, a little voice was whispering inside me, saying, there is something not right.  I caught him in so many lies, and again, I would hang in there, allowing him to take a piece of my dignity with him, every single time, ignoring the bigger picture.  I was ignoring my purpose in life.  

You see, in the end, he was seeing someone else, and many other terrible things, and GOD, through my prayers not answered, and the voice inside me, which at the end, was screaming, "let him go", he was a person, not capable of being honest, and certainly not the right man for me.

God was warning me all the way through, and God always gives us the power of CHOICE, and my choices went against my instinct, and I spent 3 years of my life, not living on the path, I was supposed to be on to serve my purpose in this life.  

As I said, however, everything happens for a reason.  Eventually, he chose to be with another woman.  I hurt and writhed in pain, over the choices and mistakes, and the pain of losing him, for months, so depressed, some days I wouldn't get out of bed.  

Looking back, now that I have healed, I realize I am so stubborn and strong willed, and God had NO other choice, due to my freedom to make the choices I did, but to wait it out, and he knew, the only way I could learn a part of my purpose, was to learn from my mistakes, and become wiser because of them.

I actually, had been, on the path, all along, I was supposed to be on, because now, I am with the love of my life, the father of my children, and when I pray about him, the voice inside me, kindly says, "you deserve to be loved, as he loves you", and I, because of the wisdom learned from that experience, feel deserving of that love, and if God had not given me to power of choice, I would have been saved from much emotional pain, but I would not have learned the particular lessons I needed to learn so God, could continue to help me, stay on the path he designed, and serve, my purpose.  My purpose on this particular page of the blueprint he designed for me, was to learn to "love back", not chase after a love, that was never there.

I learned what love is, and how to share it mutually and love back.  

Never doubt the power of choice.  Always listen to the little voice inside you.  Perhaps my story and sharing today, will take you to a place or remind you, to listen, and make the right choices.  You can do it, by learning from my mistake here, if you are in a similar situation.  Choose wisely, and pray about your choices.

If your praying, and you don't connect, perhaps God just answered your prayer, and your next choice will be better because you listened to what you did NOT hear.  SL

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